Family Matters
** Hi, I wrote at least half of this between 1 AM and 4 AM this morning when I couldn't sleep, I tried to write everything in a way that makes sense and not just random thoughts so I really hope the flow is there**
This past weekend, I saw two of my favorite people dancing the Tango (tango? Tango? I'm rolling with the capitalization but if it's wrong please correct me.) inside a high school auditorium and I had an epiphany.
It was an epiphany that I had been waiting for. Waiting for something inside my brain to click and it finally happened in the most obvious and least expected moment.
****************************************************
To know everything about me, you basically need to know just one thing: I love my family. I'm not sure where it started, or if it'll ever change, but my family comes before just about anything else.
This hasn't always been the case, though. There were times when I was younger that my life revolved completely around my friends and playing basketball for hours on end. Family was the farthest thing from my mind... They were just around to buy me food and bother me.
I never thought that one day they would mean more than anything else. And I REALLY never thought that two of my siblings would turn into two of my best friends.
I said above that I'm not sure when the change started, but I have a rough guess. It starts in the most rocky time my family has been through.. Starting in the summer of 2012, we made a group decision to move to Boise, and it would turn out to be the best decision we ever made together.
The move caused two things to happen: 1. All of us had to get out of our comfort zones and 2. Our family got infinitely closer to each other than I ever thought possible.
I like to think that there is a direct correlation between those two things. As we struggled to make friends and figure out how to live in a new place, the family got closer because that's all we have. When you're surrounded by new things, the only familiar thing within 350 miles has some gravity to it.
Over the years I moved back and forth between Utah and Idaho a few times, trying to decide where I fit and where I need to be for the next stage of my life, and not being around them just adds to the relationship because I miss them like crazy daily.
I tell you all of this because.. well.. I had forgot how much they mean to me. Plain and simple. They'll always be naturally on my mind but the impact they have on my life was lost on me.
Just in case you aren't aware, or want to hear about people you already know this is my family:
Merrill (Dad) - I wrote at length about my relationship with him here but really he just is the man. He does more for our family than he needs to, and he has a strange way to help you through things you didn't even know you needed help with.
Kim (Step-mom) - When I think of Kim, I always think of the same thing.. I 100% believe if she wanted to, she could turn a flaming dumpster in some abandoned alley into a playhouse for kids, or into some decoration that could fit in the most elegant of houses.
I'm so grateful for Kim because she adds some sanity to the whirlwind that is my siblings and I. I also can't think of a better person to help guide my dad through all of his work and projects that he has going on at once. (There is always another project).
Hudson (13 year old step-brother) - The Huds. The more I spend time with Hudson and get to know him (it has only been 5 or 6ish years) the more I see myself in him believe it or not. I never had his confidence, or headstrongness (not a word, but its a word now) but there are tons of similarities I see that make me smile.
Hudson has more potential for greatness than he realizes, and with the guidance Kim and my dad can give him, he'll turn into an amazing man as long as he listens. He's a smart kid who can accomplish anything if he keeps his motivation.
Eva (basically 10 year old step-sister) - Queen Eva will make you do whatever she wants you to do, and she has a way of making you feel like you're doing her a favor while doing it. Whether she's dressing her dog in ridiculous outfits or making you eat HER breakfast, she'll keep you on your toes 24/7.
I love Eva because there will almost always be a smile on her face, and she's remarkably sassy for a 10 year old. Think of just a classic adorable little girl, and thats my sweet Eva. And also because she walks my dog.
Cindy (Mom) - Oh my mother... She is a cheerful soul who doubles as a complex enigma the more you know about her. She isn't just a mother to her own four kids, but also to ALL of her kids friends. There is a way about her that makes people feel comfortable and lets them know they can be themselves and that keeps everyone coming back.
I'm sure there will be a post about her coming in the future, but really all you need to know is that my mom will do everything in her power to make you feel welcome and at ease wherever you are with her.
Shelby (23 year old sister) - Above I mentioned that two of my siblings became some of my best friends, and we've reached the first one. Growing up, I was able to relate to Shelby more than anyone else in my family just because of the proximity in age. When we moved to Boise, her and I were the clique. We were the "older kids" in a different phase of life than anyone else and we bonded over that.
Currently, Shelby and I are roommates and we are able to tolerate each other most days. We have the same friends, work at the same place and watch the same TV shows... And we haven't killed each other so we accomplished something. Now I just need to get her to clean up after herself.
Brayden (17 year old brother) - We've found the other best friend in the family. The relationship I have with B is probably the biggest plot twist my life has ever thrown at me. 6 years ago, we barely had a relationship. I wouldn't fight with him, I barely even talked to him. We spent our time doing FAR different things, and weren't really close until Boise.
Brayden is one of the most talented people I know. Whether he's acting, going along with my dumb jokes or just being smart about something that goes over my head, he just knows how to achieve lofty goals.
Now? There isn't enough time I can spend with the little punk. In the future, there will be a post dedicated to the homie, but for now all you need to know is that there is hope for all siblings to turn out best friends, no matter how unlikely it seems at times. Whether I need a deep question answered, a laugh, or to nerd out to video games, there is only one person I can think to go to.
Parker (12 year old brother) - Ah, last but not least is this big bundle of fun. He may only be 12, but Parker is one of the most emotionally stable people I know. There are certain things that cause him to get a little extreme, but he almost always can be found in a relaxed and happy mood.
Parker is my basketball buddy. The one I go to to talk about it, to play 1-on-1in the driveway or to beat in basketball video games. Just like with Hudson, I see a ton of myself in Parker (both good and bad) and I try my best every day to be a good example for them specifically.
Other than these lovely family members of mine, there are a few other Boise people that I feel like I need to bring up that belong here. A lot of you reading this don't know them, but they mean the world to me, the Gudapati's.
The Guds (its easier!) are my second family up in Boise and I would be crazy if I didn't mention them.
Cyndi (the mom) is one of the kindest people I've had the pleasure of knowing. I also don't think I've ever seen her in a bad mood which I've never realized before! The thing I'm most appreciative of though, is I know Cyndi always makes sure my mom is taken care of. It sounds silly, but just knowing that my mom has someone there for whatever happens is so so so comforting.
Cyndi is one of the wiser people in my life and I can't think of a better second mom (Step-moms count the same as regular moms, so my mom and Kim are both first moms) for my siblings and I. A few are listed here, but there are a LOT of similarities between Cyndi and my mom, which might add to why our families are so close.
Maya (the daughter) is unique in my eyes. It's rare to come across someone who is as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside, but that's just Maya. Just like her mom, she is one of the most kind-hearted people in my life. Whether she knows or not, she has taught me a ton recently about what you can accomplish with a little self-confidence.
Maya is honestly one of my favorite people in the world, and as she continues to get older she'll keep setting a wonderful example for a ton of people, including me. I think of Maya the same way I think of Brayden and Shelby, one of my closer sibling-friends that can put up with most of the ridiculousness.
Kai (the son) is a reincarnation of Parker, which makes him easy to be grateful for. They've been on basketball teams together. They play the same video games together, and have the same general attitude. Almost never angry, always relaxed and in a good mood.
Kai and Parker help each other in ways that neither of them may be able to see. As someone who has had plenty of friends before and been in situations where I haven't had any, I appreciate that Parker will always have Kai and won't have to be alone.
These are the characters of my crazy family, and now you know everyone.
**************************************************
Now, back to the story. The last week and a half or so, I've been going through a few different personal problems. I was stressed, I couldn't focus and I was volatile to the point that I locked myself in my room so that I wouldn't blow up on anyone.
Last Thursday night Shelby and I went up to Boise for a couple reasons, but it turns out the main reason wasn't anything I was planning on.
During the trip, my family went and saw Brayden and Maya perform in their school musical, The Addams Family.
(BY THE WAY. 3 things about their play: 1. This is a very prestigious honor I know, but I've decided that I would let Maya sit in my room and sing me to sleep every night if I could. She could be singing and telling me everything she hated about me and I would be so happy because her voice is so lovely. 2. I forgot that Brayden can dance, but Brayden can DANCE. The dude is smoother than silk and I'm really upset that he got all of the talent. 3. I love the rest of their group of friends who were in the play, and they did such an amazing job. There will probably be a post worshiping them one day.)
I saw the musical two and a half times, and I enjoyed it more each time just because of how talented these kids are.
Over the course of the weekend, I saw it first with my mom, and siblings. The next night we added Cyndi to our band of misfits and then on the final night everyone I listed above was there.
There was a moment when Maya and Brayden were both on the stage doing the Tango (Tango-ing, perhaps?) that everything kind of just hit me.
I had forgotten the impact that family has on a persons day-to-day attitude and I learned this lesson at the most important time. Those personal troubles I had brought into Boise were alleviated, and I was genuinely happy for the first time in a while.
My family are some of the best people I've ever come across (yeah i'm biased so what?) and from here on out, I've made it a goal to never forget the blessing they are to me.
Whether it was just the Gudapati's wanting to kidnap my dog, or trying to go to the DMV with my dad and Kim on a holiday, there are zero dull moments to be found. Spending time with all of them this last weekend, no matter how much or little, helped open my eyes to see that I'll be okay.
I mean... Just LOOK at us.
With incredible people like this in my life how can I lose?? I don't think I can.
This past weekend, I saw two of my favorite people dancing the Tango (tango? Tango? I'm rolling with the capitalization but if it's wrong please correct me.) inside a high school auditorium and I had an epiphany.
It was an epiphany that I had been waiting for. Waiting for something inside my brain to click and it finally happened in the most obvious and least expected moment.
****************************************************
To know everything about me, you basically need to know just one thing: I love my family. I'm not sure where it started, or if it'll ever change, but my family comes before just about anything else.
This hasn't always been the case, though. There were times when I was younger that my life revolved completely around my friends and playing basketball for hours on end. Family was the farthest thing from my mind... They were just around to buy me food and bother me.
I never thought that one day they would mean more than anything else. And I REALLY never thought that two of my siblings would turn into two of my best friends.
I said above that I'm not sure when the change started, but I have a rough guess. It starts in the most rocky time my family has been through.. Starting in the summer of 2012, we made a group decision to move to Boise, and it would turn out to be the best decision we ever made together.
The move caused two things to happen: 1. All of us had to get out of our comfort zones and 2. Our family got infinitely closer to each other than I ever thought possible.
I like to think that there is a direct correlation between those two things. As we struggled to make friends and figure out how to live in a new place, the family got closer because that's all we have. When you're surrounded by new things, the only familiar thing within 350 miles has some gravity to it.
Over the years I moved back and forth between Utah and Idaho a few times, trying to decide where I fit and where I need to be for the next stage of my life, and not being around them just adds to the relationship because I miss them like crazy daily.
I tell you all of this because.. well.. I had forgot how much they mean to me. Plain and simple. They'll always be naturally on my mind but the impact they have on my life was lost on me.
Just in case you aren't aware, or want to hear about people you already know this is my family:
Merrill (Dad) - I wrote at length about my relationship with him here but really he just is the man. He does more for our family than he needs to, and he has a strange way to help you through things you didn't even know you needed help with.
Kim (Step-mom) - When I think of Kim, I always think of the same thing.. I 100% believe if she wanted to, she could turn a flaming dumpster in some abandoned alley into a playhouse for kids, or into some decoration that could fit in the most elegant of houses.
I'm so grateful for Kim because she adds some sanity to the whirlwind that is my siblings and I. I also can't think of a better person to help guide my dad through all of his work and projects that he has going on at once. (There is always another project).
Hudson (13 year old step-brother) - The Huds. The more I spend time with Hudson and get to know him (it has only been 5 or 6ish years) the more I see myself in him believe it or not. I never had his confidence, or headstrongness (not a word, but its a word now) but there are tons of similarities I see that make me smile.
Hudson has more potential for greatness than he realizes, and with the guidance Kim and my dad can give him, he'll turn into an amazing man as long as he listens. He's a smart kid who can accomplish anything if he keeps his motivation.
Eva (basically 10 year old step-sister) - Queen Eva will make you do whatever she wants you to do, and she has a way of making you feel like you're doing her a favor while doing it. Whether she's dressing her dog in ridiculous outfits or making you eat HER breakfast, she'll keep you on your toes 24/7.
I love Eva because there will almost always be a smile on her face, and she's remarkably sassy for a 10 year old. Think of just a classic adorable little girl, and thats my sweet Eva. And also because she walks my dog.
Cindy (Mom) - Oh my mother... She is a cheerful soul who doubles as a complex enigma the more you know about her. She isn't just a mother to her own four kids, but also to ALL of her kids friends. There is a way about her that makes people feel comfortable and lets them know they can be themselves and that keeps everyone coming back.
I'm sure there will be a post about her coming in the future, but really all you need to know is that my mom will do everything in her power to make you feel welcome and at ease wherever you are with her.
Shelby (23 year old sister) - Above I mentioned that two of my siblings became some of my best friends, and we've reached the first one. Growing up, I was able to relate to Shelby more than anyone else in my family just because of the proximity in age. When we moved to Boise, her and I were the clique. We were the "older kids" in a different phase of life than anyone else and we bonded over that.
Currently, Shelby and I are roommates and we are able to tolerate each other most days. We have the same friends, work at the same place and watch the same TV shows... And we haven't killed each other so we accomplished something. Now I just need to get her to clean up after herself.
Brayden (17 year old brother) - We've found the other best friend in the family. The relationship I have with B is probably the biggest plot twist my life has ever thrown at me. 6 years ago, we barely had a relationship. I wouldn't fight with him, I barely even talked to him. We spent our time doing FAR different things, and weren't really close until Boise.
Brayden is one of the most talented people I know. Whether he's acting, going along with my dumb jokes or just being smart about something that goes over my head, he just knows how to achieve lofty goals.
Now? There isn't enough time I can spend with the little punk. In the future, there will be a post dedicated to the homie, but for now all you need to know is that there is hope for all siblings to turn out best friends, no matter how unlikely it seems at times. Whether I need a deep question answered, a laugh, or to nerd out to video games, there is only one person I can think to go to.
Parker (12 year old brother) - Ah, last but not least is this big bundle of fun. He may only be 12, but Parker is one of the most emotionally stable people I know. There are certain things that cause him to get a little extreme, but he almost always can be found in a relaxed and happy mood.
Parker is my basketball buddy. The one I go to to talk about it, to play 1-on-1in the driveway or to beat in basketball video games. Just like with Hudson, I see a ton of myself in Parker (both good and bad) and I try my best every day to be a good example for them specifically.
Other than these lovely family members of mine, there are a few other Boise people that I feel like I need to bring up that belong here. A lot of you reading this don't know them, but they mean the world to me, the Gudapati's.
The Guds (its easier!) are my second family up in Boise and I would be crazy if I didn't mention them.
Cyndi (the mom) is one of the kindest people I've had the pleasure of knowing. I also don't think I've ever seen her in a bad mood which I've never realized before! The thing I'm most appreciative of though, is I know Cyndi always makes sure my mom is taken care of. It sounds silly, but just knowing that my mom has someone there for whatever happens is so so so comforting.
Cyndi is one of the wiser people in my life and I can't think of a better second mom (Step-moms count the same as regular moms, so my mom and Kim are both first moms) for my siblings and I. A few are listed here, but there are a LOT of similarities between Cyndi and my mom, which might add to why our families are so close.
Maya (the daughter) is unique in my eyes. It's rare to come across someone who is as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside, but that's just Maya. Just like her mom, she is one of the most kind-hearted people in my life. Whether she knows or not, she has taught me a ton recently about what you can accomplish with a little self-confidence.
Maya is honestly one of my favorite people in the world, and as she continues to get older she'll keep setting a wonderful example for a ton of people, including me. I think of Maya the same way I think of Brayden and Shelby, one of my closer sibling-friends that can put up with most of the ridiculousness.
Kai (the son) is a reincarnation of Parker, which makes him easy to be grateful for. They've been on basketball teams together. They play the same video games together, and have the same general attitude. Almost never angry, always relaxed and in a good mood.
Kai and Parker help each other in ways that neither of them may be able to see. As someone who has had plenty of friends before and been in situations where I haven't had any, I appreciate that Parker will always have Kai and won't have to be alone.
These are the characters of my crazy family, and now you know everyone.
**************************************************
Now, back to the story. The last week and a half or so, I've been going through a few different personal problems. I was stressed, I couldn't focus and I was volatile to the point that I locked myself in my room so that I wouldn't blow up on anyone.
Last Thursday night Shelby and I went up to Boise for a couple reasons, but it turns out the main reason wasn't anything I was planning on.
During the trip, my family went and saw Brayden and Maya perform in their school musical, The Addams Family.
(BY THE WAY. 3 things about their play: 1. This is a very prestigious honor I know, but I've decided that I would let Maya sit in my room and sing me to sleep every night if I could. She could be singing and telling me everything she hated about me and I would be so happy because her voice is so lovely. 2. I forgot that Brayden can dance, but Brayden can DANCE. The dude is smoother than silk and I'm really upset that he got all of the talent. 3. I love the rest of their group of friends who were in the play, and they did such an amazing job. There will probably be a post worshiping them one day.)
I saw the musical two and a half times, and I enjoyed it more each time just because of how talented these kids are.
Over the course of the weekend, I saw it first with my mom, and siblings. The next night we added Cyndi to our band of misfits and then on the final night everyone I listed above was there.
There was a moment when Maya and Brayden were both on the stage doing the Tango (Tango-ing, perhaps?) that everything kind of just hit me.
I had forgotten the impact that family has on a persons day-to-day attitude and I learned this lesson at the most important time. Those personal troubles I had brought into Boise were alleviated, and I was genuinely happy for the first time in a while.
My family are some of the best people I've ever come across (yeah i'm biased so what?) and from here on out, I've made it a goal to never forget the blessing they are to me.
Whether it was just the Gudapati's wanting to kidnap my dog, or trying to go to the DMV with my dad and Kim on a holiday, there are zero dull moments to be found. Spending time with all of them this last weekend, no matter how much or little, helped open my eyes to see that I'll be okay.
I mean... Just LOOK at us.
(this picture is from Christmas Eve a year ago, so it's old but the only one with everyone in it. Maybe this year we'll get a new one.)
With incredible people like this in my life how can I lose?? I don't think I can.
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